For those who know

For those who know what it’s like to stuffer from any form of depression, be it mild or severe… You know what it’s like when I say the only place I want to be is bed. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. Becoming sick and tired of the way my life is going and the way those apart of it are acting. Wait.. I should take that back…. I do have 2 people who have stepped up to try a support me and understand what I’m going through. But what I have to ask is why is it that the friend I have known since birth… The one who has just as much going on in her mind as I do… Isn’t there for me. After thinking about it last night I realized…. This person thrives off of other people’s weaknesses and unhappiness…. If someone else is vulnerable they are easier to pick at and make the other person feel better about themselves. It’s been like this as long as I can remember but i always made excuses and forgave and moved on. I don’t think I can move on anymore. I’m not strong and I’m not stable and I can’t take being made to feel even smaller and more worthless. Time to cut my losses. So is it time I end my life? I think before that becomes my life conclusion I owe it to myself to try one more time to climb out of this hole.